If it were only that easy.

New stories more often, I promise.

Recently my grandson's first grade teacher took a week off of school to get married. The room mothers organized a class party for her and asked each 6-year-old to give their teacher advice on how to be a good wife. Our little guy's suggestion was that she learn to make a really good meatloaf. Good advice, I think.



We think today that it is harder than ever to have a good marriage given the stresses of this crazy world. Certainly, stress isn't anything new. The high statistics of affairs outside of marriage tell the tale. Yet, affairs are nothing new either. Even our beloved George Washington fell for his best friend's wife, the beautiful Sally Fairfax. He retained an attachment for her the rest of his life, but he respected his marriage more. George, it seems, was an honorable man (don't we wish that was still around) who maintained his devotion to Martha all of his life. "Love is a mighty pretty thing," he wrote, but it "is too dainty a food to live on alone, and ought not to be considered further than as a necessary ingredient for that matrimonial happiness which results from a combination of causes; none of which are of greater importance than that the partner should have disposition, good sense, a good reputation, and financial means." (I especially like the financial means part) Old George got it right. Oh, if only it were that simple.

All records of the Washingtons reflect that they did indeed live happily ever after. But I think it had a lot to do with Martha's ability to "go with the flow". She saw what she could not change and she sought ways to turn the tides in favor of her husband. She traveled in 1775 to Massachusetts where she joined her husband at Cambridge. During the winter months she would travel to his camps and remain with him until the fighting began again in the Spring. She bolstered his spirits with her presence and her work with the other wives to make garments and patch shirts for the soldiers. She could have stayed home and been comfortable and safe, but she chose to be beside her husband.

When George was serving as President, she saw to it he retired each night by 9 PM. She was a homebody who avoided the ceremonies some wanted the first President to adopt as being too much like royalty. She wrote her niece, Mercy Warren, that she was "determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may be." She carried off her role with the same sense of duty as her husband.

After the Washingtons finally were able to return to Mount Vernon and enjoy retirement, Martha wrote her dear friend, Mrs. Knox, that "I am again fairly settled down to the pleasant duties of an old-fashioned Virginia house-keeper, steady as a clock, busy as a bee, and cheerful as a cricket." Not such a bad mantra for us today.

PS: The above picture of Martha Washington is the result when forensic anthropologists were asked to do a computerized age-regression portrait of her in her mid-20s.

Read more: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2009/02/08/MN1A15LMKA.DTL#ixzz0NRSc3wBP