Thursday, October 1, 2009

Old Fashioned Courtship






Abigail Fillmore was our First Lady from 1850 to 1853. She was a former school teacher, having met her husband when he was her student. They were engaged for eight years and married for twenty-seven years. During that eight year engagement Millard Fillmore was away serving his apprenticeship as a lawyer and passing the Bar. At one point, it was three years between their meetings. Courting by mail is hard to believe now, what with texting and email, but apparently, for the Fillmores, it was a romantic task. On top of that it was only a few weeks before their wedding that Millard was bold enough to kiss Abigail on the hand - lightly - before parting. I find this so refreshing in this age of instant intimacy and exposed bodies. Imagine the mystery between these two. Their minds had met and courted successfully. Millard even gave Abigail credit for having encouraged his studies. But what today is known before the couple has hardly exchanged phone numbers, the Fillmores had the delight of discovering as good and close friends who just happened to be married. I guess my old age is showing. I find this kind of relationship refreshing. Abigail must have missed her Millard terribly during those years apart. There must have been many lonely nights for him too. But they stuck it out and eventually reap the benefits of their delay. Today it is instant gratification or nothing.

Abigail's family objected to the marriage. They felt Millard was beneath Abigail socially. But that long distance courtship prevailed and they were married in 1826. Later they had two children. Millard became President upon the death of Zachary Taylor in 1850.

Abigail was a scholary lady, who upon seeing the amount of books in the White House, got her husband to persuade Congress to vote money for a library to be established in the White House. She assembled all the books there, as well as maps and reference books, and a piano where she held musical evenings. She played and her daughter sang. She studied French. She held salons where the outstanding minds of the time were invited to discuss the topics of the day. It was said Millard never took a step without Abigails advice and counsel. Well, we have heard that before and it is a common thread that flows through many of these First Lady/President relationships. And we think we don't elect the First Lady. She is and has always been a strong influence on our President.



Sunday, September 6, 2009

She should have been President



Helen Taft was one First Lady who actually wanted the job. In fact she promoted her husband forcefully whenever she could. Nellie had her work cut out for her as her husband, William Howard Taft, was not politically ambitious and often remarked that he was not "foolish enough to run for the Presidency". When President Roosevelt (Teddy) wanted to nominate Taft for the Supreme Court, "Nellie", as she was known, demanded a private meeting with the President, wherein she convinced the President that the Supreme Court was not the place for her husband. Roosevelt ended up supporting Taft in the 1908 campaign for President. Taft won easily.


At a reception in the White House the day before the inauguration, Nellie wore a hat decorated with white egret feathers. One of the feathers caught fire in a gas jet and Nellie almost went up in smoke. Not to be deterred, she trimmed the burnt feathers and wore the hat to the inauguration anyway.



On inauguration morning, a fierce ice storm struck Washington, prompting the President-Elect to say, "I always said it would be a cold day [in hell] when I got to be President of the United States". Nellie did not see the humor in his comment. Her beautiful white satin inaugural ball gown was stuck on a stalled train. The inauguration parade had to be postponed. And the inauguration ceremony was moved indoors. Nellie was about to attain her goal of being First Lady and it seemed like a curse had been placed upon the inauguration.




At last Nellie saw her wish come true and she rode with the new President, her husband, in a motor car back to the White House. She was the first First Lady to be so visible and she confessed to being "elated". Washington's gossip mill, as well as some of the women's magazines of the time, referred to Nellie as the President's "alter ego". And indeed she was.


She took charge of everything in the White House. She could greet half a dozen guests to every one greeted by her husband. They became intensely close and had few friends. If she spotted her husband in a private conversation she would rush to his side to be certain he was not getting involved in anything of which she disapproved. She fired her husband's aides and the household staff at will. She hired a housekeeper who specialized in terror tactics. She got Congress to give her $12,000 to purchase motorcars for the First Family. She was more Queen than First Lady. The President said he felt like a "fish out of water" and indulged in his favorite sport which was eating. Eventually his weight ballooned and he had to hire a plumber to install a new - much larger - bathtub to accommodate his girth.


To Nellie's favor, she did start a program to beautify Washington and with the help of the Army built a bandstand along the Potomac where she and the President would motor to attend concerts by the Army Band. She sent out an order to America's nurseries for their cherry blossom trees to plant along Potomac Drive. When the trees died, the mayor of Tokyo sent two thousand more trees. They died too, but the mayor sent more trees and eventually the beautiful Spring time cherry blossoms became a Washington tradition.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

"Mrs Perfect"

Margaret Truman, in her book First Ladies, refers to Lady Bird Johnson as "the almost perfect first lady." And indeed she was. A lady with her own personal successes before she became First Lady, she came to be First Lady under the most horrific circumstances. Who could ever have been adequately prepared to assume the job after the horror of the assasination of John Kennedy? In a matter of a few seconds Lady Bird was thrown from the Washington sidelines into the spotlight. Devastated Americans read reports of her compassion to Mrs. Kennedy as they flew back to Washington with the slain President. Her strength in coping with what must have been tremendous responsibilities and arrangements, not to mention her concerns for her children and her husband were extraordinary. I remember watching her on tv the day after the assasination where she was acting as hostess at the White House for the many government workers who came through the East Room to pay their respects. How tough a job must that have been to greet each of these people warmly and with sympathy for their individual grief. She must have been spinning inside herself with all that was suddenly her job AND that the American public needed to see a competent administration taking charge. I wondered then if after the lights were turned off, she didn't just go home and have a good cry. I would have.

Lady Bird eventually put together a first-class staff, headed by a Washington newspaperwoman, Liz Carpenter. Even LBJ respected Liz and said of her, "She'd charge hell with a bucket of water." Liz and Lady Bird were the only White House occupants who had the courage to tell LBJ he was wrong. And he listened to them.

Lady Bird's business acumen served her well in the White House. She planned wonderful dinner parties designed to assist her husband in wooing his Congressional enemies. She told LBJ's campaign people not to give her the easy places on the campaign trail. But where she shined the brightest was in dealing with her husband. One day on the campaign trail when things were unbearably hot, the hecklers vicious and Lady Bird was hobbling on a swollen sprained ankle Liz Carpenter overheard Lady Bird talking to LBJ on the phone in Washington. He evidently had asked her how the day had gone. She told him "Just perfectly, dear, and how are YOU, dear." Liz realized that she was learning from the pro how to deal with a man...and that Lady Bird was unique. She was always the center of his life even though he strayed from time to time. When he had a heart attack LBJ asked Lady Bird to accompany him to the hospital, where she stayed in the room next to his for six weeks. She loved him dearly.



Friday, August 21, 2009

Home Sweet Home


Caroline Harrison, wife of President Benjamin Harrison, who took office in 1889 inherited a White House that was falling down around her. She was shocked at the wretched condition of the building and the inadequacy of the space. Accompanying the Harrisons to reside in the White House was their daughter and her husband, three lively little grandchildren, a young widowed niece and Caroline's 90-year old father. Privacy was unknown.
So Caroline set about to build a new White House with proper accommodations for the first family and guests. An architect was engaged. He prepared a model, which was dubbed "Mrs. Harrison's place." But the historical advocates opposed the plan. They said to build a new White House would be like abandoning an historic landmark. Congress failed to come up with the money and the plan died.


Caroline was disappointed, but when Congress came up with $35,000 to fix up the old White House, she excitedly started the project and completely refurbished the old house. In the 1940's Bess Truman had to move her family out of the White House while it was completely gutted and rebuilt from the inside out. Her daughter's piano was seen to lean severely to one side where a leg was about to poke through the floor to the room below. Later, Jackie Kennedy redid the house with furnishings either from the early administrations or nearly like them.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Nothing to Wear !



First Ladies have always been in the spotlight for their attire. Critics and gossips have stood at the ready since Martha Washington's days to comment on what the First Lady was wearing. Remember the splash Jackie Kennedy made in Paris with her Oleg Cassini wardrobe. She got more attention by far than her husband, the President. In the 1920's culottes became fashionable and Grace Coolidge bought a pair. Her husband insisted she return them because, "no woman in the family ever wore them." Even though that was all the more reason to wear them, Grace obediently returned the culottes. Nancy Reagan wore a knickers outfit - designed by Galanos - to dinner with the French President and his wife in Paris. The comments were that it was more like a maternity top and pants. Poor Nancy. Poor Galanos.

Of course, during the nineteenth century pants were a No No. Instead women wore corsets, hoops and bustles. No wonder Amelia Bloomer's baggy pants became a hit during the "right-to-vote" years. Even after slacks became a part of the well-dressed lady's wardrobe - thanks to Kate Hepburn - First Ladies avoided them in public. Eleanor Roosevelt would sometimes greet her guests in a riding habit, but that wasn't really considered pants. And imagine, Eleanor's clothing budget per year was $300. Jackie Kennedy's was considerably more!

Woodrow Wilson's first wife, Ellen, was a thrifty lady who was not accustomed to spending much money on clothes and kept a small wardrobe. But after she moved into the White House, she thought she needed to spruce up a bit. She had to pay for her clothing out of her own pocket. When a newspaper reported that she had spent several hundred dollars on seven gowns, she produced receipts showing the critics that the entire shopping spree cost exactly $140.84. But it didn't include any pants.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

A Strong, Sensible Lady





Betty Ford, a courageous lady, fought her battles in the public eye so as to give courage to others facing the same problems. She never hesitated to tackle the tough talk about subjects previously hidden and in the process she focused the country on important issues that needed attention. She was out-spoken and plain-spoken. She was proud of the fact that she was the first President's wife to be picketed by antifeminists. Hard to believe that this was just a little over thirty years ago.

Betty was thrilled to be First Lady. At the inauguration ceremony she said she felt she was taking the oath as well. "My God, what a job I have to do," she remarked. Early on she noted that the guards scattered throughout the White House would not respond when she spoke to them. She learned that they had been instructed by the previous administration not to speak to the President and First Lady. She quickly changed that rule and soon they were all chatting with each other and with the Fords. Beatle George Harrison remarked after having lunch at the White House that "I feel good vibes about this White House." Betty brought back song and dance to the White House, after the gloom of the Watergate years. She changed the rules and swept in a new era of simplicity. "Jerry and I are very ordinary people," she said, "who enjoy life and aren't overly impressed with ourselves."

In 1975, on the heels of the sexual revolution of the sixties, when the country was still reeling from the new mantra of "if it feels good do it", Betty appeared on "60 minutes". She answered Morley Safer's questions frankly, saying that although she did not approve of premarital sex, it might lower the divorce rate. In addition, she called the Supreme Court's ruling allowing abortion a "great, great decision." She admitted that if she found out her daughter was having an affair, she wouldn't be surprised, because after all she is a perfectly normal human being. These were shocking admissions at the time, but necessary. Betty was shining the light of reason on circumstances that were happening right under our noses, but we had not yet come to understand or accept. Deal with it, she was saying. A flood of angry letters hit the White House, but within a week the tone had changed. The mail and the polls showed Betty's rating higher than her husband's. Polster Lou Harris said, "Betty Ford has now become one of the most popular wives of a President to occupy the White House."

One day Betty was showing a friend around the White House. "This," she said, "is our bedroom and that is our bed. We are the first President and First Lady to share a bedroom in an awfully long time. To my great surprise, though, people have written me objecting to the idea of a President of the United States sleeping with his wife." Another day Mrs. Ford was showing actress Candace Bergen through the Oval Room. There was a winged gold figure there of a woman with a bowl on her head. Betty told Candace that originally the lady in the statute was holding a scroll, but it had long ago disappeared. So now, whenever she could get away with it, Betty would stick something in the statute's hand, usually a cigarette. Of course, the staff would remove it, but Betty got a kick out of the game. She wondered if they ever figured out who was doing it.




In 1974, the President hosted a dinner party honoring Supreme Court Justice William O. Douglas. Vicki Carr, a popular Mexican-American singer was the entertainment. President Ford congratulated her after her performance and she invited him to her home for a Mexican dinner. "What Mexican dish do you like," Vicki Carr asked the President, "I like you," he said. Mrs. Ford overheard the exchange. "That woman", she said, " will never get into the White House again."

We will talk more about Betty Ford in later posts. In fact, we will visit all the First Ladies many times so stay tuned. And thanks for reading.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

If it were only that easy.


New stories more often, I promise.

Recently my grandson's first grade teacher took a week off of school to get married. The room mothers organized a class party for her and asked each 6-year-old to give their teacher advice on how to be a good wife. Our little guy's suggestion was that she learn to make a really good meatloaf. Good advice, I think.



We think today that it is harder than ever to have a good marriage given the stresses of this crazy world. Certainly, stress isn't anything new. The high statistics of affairs outside of marriage tell the tale. Yet, affairs are nothing new either. Even our beloved George Washington fell for his best friend's wife, the beautiful Sally Fairfax. He retained an attachment for her the rest of his life, but he respected his marriage more. George, it seems, was an honorable man (don't we wish that was still around) who maintained his devotion to Martha all of his life. "Love is a mighty pretty thing," he wrote, but it "is too dainty a food to live on alone, and ought not to be considered further than as a necessary ingredient for that matrimonial happiness which results from a combination of causes; none of which are of greater importance than that the partner should have disposition, good sense, a good reputation, and financial means." (I especially like the financial means part) Old George got it right. Oh, if only it were that simple.

All records of the Washingtons reflect that they did indeed live happily ever after. But I think it had a lot to do with Martha's ability to "go with the flow". She saw what she could not change and she sought ways to turn the tides in favor of her husband. She traveled in 1775 to Massachusetts where she joined her husband at Cambridge. During the winter months she would travel to his camps and remain with him until the fighting began again in the Spring. She bolstered his spirits with her presence and her work with the other wives to make garments and patch shirts for the soldiers. She could have stayed home and been comfortable and safe, but she chose to be beside her husband.

When George was serving as President, she saw to it he retired each night by 9 PM. She was a homebody who avoided the ceremonies some wanted the first President to adopt as being too much like royalty. She wrote her niece, Mercy Warren, that she was "determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may be." She carried off her role with the same sense of duty as her husband.

After the Washingtons finally were able to return to Mount Vernon and enjoy retirement, Martha wrote her dear friend, Mrs. Knox, that "I am again fairly settled down to the pleasant duties of an old-fashioned Virginia house-keeper, steady as a clock, busy as a bee, and cheerful as a cricket." Not such a bad mantra for us today.

PS: The above picture of Martha Washington is the result when forensic anthropologists were asked to do a computerized age-regression portrait of her in her mid-20s.

Read more: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2009/02/08/MN1A15LMKA.DTL#ixzz0NRSc3wBP

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

White House Glamour



Glamour and excitement...dashing about Washington behind four white horses, picnicking in the woods around Rock Creek, and presiding over an abundance of luncheons, dinners and elegant social occasions in the White House. This was the beautiful - and young - Julia Gardiner Tyler, second wife of President John Tyler. Julia, the daughter of Senator David Gardiner, was twenty-two when she met the newly widowed John Tyler, who was fifty-three. John was immediately taken with her breathless beauty and managed to kiss her on her second visit to the White House. Two weeks later he proposed! Julia responded in the fashion of the day, by crying "No,No,No", which really meant, it would be scandalous to say yes this early in our relationship...but don't stop asking.




The President continued his pursuit with flowery love letters. And then fate stepped in. Tyler invited Julia and her father to join other guests for a cruise on the Potomac River aboard the U.S. Navy's new steam frigate, Princeton. The frigate was equipped with a new cannon called the Peacemaker. The male guests gathered on the deck to watch a demonstration of the new cannon. It exploded, killing eight people, including Julia's father, as well as the secretaries of the Navy and State. Julia collapsed and John carried her ashore. A few months later, the couple slipped into a church in New York City and were married.




The new Mrs. Tyler recovered and became a popular Washington figure. She became interested in politics and frequently could be seen in the gallery at the House of Representatives. At a White House ball, she introduced the polka - considered a racy dance and previously forbidden in the White House. She solved the problem of having to wear mourning clothes due to the death of her father, by wearing black only in the daytime and white at night. Or she would combine the two colors by covering white with black lace. She loved ropes of pearls and a jewel on her forehead. Quite the flamboyant lady in 1844.




Monday, July 20, 2009

"Gentle" Lady



Lucy Webb Hayes, wife of Rutherford B. Hayes, became First Lady in 1877. She was thought to have a gentle and winning face compared by one writer of the era to a "Madonna". The writer wasn't too far off as Lucy gave birth to eight children, five of whom survived. Lucy swam with the sharks as Washington was at the time full of critics who focused on the pretensions and extravagances of Washington society. But she kept her simple ways about her and was praised for her quiet dignity and ladylike simplicity. She did not dress ostentatiously, nor did she frizz her hair or powder her face, as was in fashion at the time. Still, Lucy had her critics.

The wife of Maine Senator James G. Blaine, Harriet Blaine, directed her frustrations with President Hayes toward Lucy. It seems the President was not taking Senator Blaine's advice and Mrs. Blaine resented him for it. So she took up a campaign of ugly rumors against Mrs. Hayes. She told everyone who would listen that the White House was dirty and that Lucy traveled with the President to keep people from insulting him.



As only luck would have it, Mrs. Hayes was inadvertently seated next to Mrs. Blaine at a concert. Mrs. Blaine huffed and puffed and moved to another seat. Lucy turned to a friend who had accompanied her, and said in a loud whisper, "Who was that stout old woman in purple?" So much for Mrs. Blaine. Right on, LUCY.

On their inaugural evening, the President and Mrs. Hayes were faced with a large number of overnight guests, all of whom were distinquished, some even royalty. Lucy had them draw straws for who got the State bedroom, considered the best. Lucy's tact was more noticed than the fancy furnishings of
the White House on that occasion.

Thursday, July 9, 2009





President Grover Cleveland was a bachelor when he took office in 1884. His sister, Libbie Cleveland, acted as his hostess. Libbie invited Mrs. Oscar Folsom and her twenty-one-year-old daughter, Frances, to the White House. President Cleveland fell for young Frances, and after she finished school and while the gossips were still focusing on her mother as a potential First Lady, Frances won the President's heart.
Some years later, young Mrs. Cleveland visited an island off Maine, where she became enchanted by the antique furniture available there. Upon her return to the White House, a van filled with antiques pulled up to the White house. "What the hell have you got there?" asked the President. "Old furniture for Mrs. Cleveland from somewhere in Maine," said the mover. Cleveland inspected the pile of old chairs, bureaus, desks and beds and said to the mover, "You turn around and take that damn kindling pile back downtown." The mover left with the load of old furniture and the President forgot about it.

Two weeks later the President was gone from the White House for the day and upon his return he noticed a chair that looked familiar. He asked his wife, "where'd you get that" Where'd it come from?" "That?" she said, "why, we've always had that. We've had that for years." Cleveland grumbled and dismissed it.

A few days later, the President was again gone for the day and upon his return another new "old" chair appeared. "Where'd that come from?" he asked his wife once again. "Oh," said Frances, "that old chair? we got it out of the attic, we've had that for a long time." In the spare bedroom, the President saw a "new" bed, shiny and polished. And then he remembered where he had seen these pieces before - on the kindling pile he sent away a few weeks earlier. Within six months, Mrs. Cleveland managed to slip every single piece of her treasured antiques from Maine into the White House without tipping her hand to the President.

Jackie Kennedy was known for refurbishing the White House with furnishings which had been there in previous administrations. Having been shocked by the poverty in the coal-mining areas, she set about to buy new White House crystal from the Morgantown Glassware Guild, Inc. in West Virginia. Later, a well-known manufacturer of glassware offered to donate a complete set of crystal to the White House, but Mrs. Kennedy refused saying that she would continue to purchase glassware from West Virginia until they weren't poor anymore. I saw her stemware at the JFK Library in Boston. It is beautifully simple and clean. Classic in the most elegant way, as was Mrs. Kennedy.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Some Things Never Change



Recently a school district in my state was considering giving students 40% credit for work not done. The idea was to encourage kids to stay in school by giving them a second chance at getting the work done. Of course, there has been some public outcry about the dangers of getting credit for work not completed. Will they get paid by employers for work not done? We all have worked with those who do little and take home big checks – it happens. Doesn’t mean we want to reward kids for being slackers.

Some of us are old enough to remember when you got one chance to do your school work and if it wasn’t done on time you lost out. And when you didn’t get what you wanted just because you wanted it. Remember Margaret Truman, Harry’s daughter. Margaret, who parents paid dearly for years of music lessons, made her singing debut in 1947. She received pay for her performance of $1,500.
While shopping with her mother, First Lady Bess Truman, Margaret decided to treat herself and buy a mink scarf. Picking out the best one in the store, she told the saleslady to charge it to her mother, whereupon Bess firmly said “Oh no you don’t, you bought it, you pay for it. You’re working now.” *

First Ladies through the ages have had the same problems keeping their children on the straight path as we do today, but they had stronger cultural and religious values to help them out. Abigail Adams had trouble with her son, Thomas, who was a good student and made his parents very proud by becoming a lawyer in the family tradition. His first case, however, was to defend the owners of the local brothel. Abigail must have wrung her hands over Thomas’ decision to make this his first case. In addition, Thomas flatly refused to wear a wig or powdered hair, as required by the “Establishment”. Sort of reminiscent of the hair wars of the sixties, isn’t it? Some things never change.**
*************************************************************************************
*Boller, Paul F., Jr., Presidential Wives, 1988, page 326
**Truman, Margaret, First Ladies, 1995, page 94



Saturday, July 4, 2009

Stock the White House Kitchen Well


Happy 233rd birthday, America! Fourth of July is here with its hamburgers, potato salad and fireworks.
But some towns have eliminated the fireworks this year due to the tough financial times. Mary Todd Lincoln ran into the same problem when she was planning to entertain the Count de Paris and the Count de Chambord at the White House in 1862. Mrs. Lincoln was trying to economize at the time and insisted the government pay for the dinner. But Secretary of State Seward refused to agree. A mountain of manure for the White House lawn had just been delivered, so Mrs. Lincoln simply sold it and used the proceeds to pay for the dinner. *

While we are talking about food (excluding the manure) , it seems on the first day the Nixons occupied the White House, the dinner order for the President, Tricia, Julie and David (Julie’s husband) was steak. And for Mrs. Nixon a bowl of cottage cheese. Now the staff, ever anxious to please, had researched the Nixon’s preferences and stocked the kitchen with absolutely everything EXCEPT cottage cheese. It being Inauguration Day in Washington DC few stores were open. Chief Usher J.B.West jumped in a limousine and scoured the town until he found a delicatessen that was open and had plenty of cottage cheese. From then on, cottage cheese became a staple in the White House kitchen. **



************************************************************************************
*Boller, Paul F. Jr., Presidential Wives, an Anecdotal History, 1988, page 123



***Boller, Paul F. Jr., Presidential Wives, an Anecdotal History, 1988, page 415










Sunday, June 28, 2009

Gov. Sanford and Mrs. Coolidge

These past few days we have been bombarded with news stories about the Governor of SC, Mark Sanford, whose disappearance for several days caused havoc in his home state – to say the least. I am reminded of the similar case of the disappearance in 1927 of Grace Coolidge, wife of President Calvin Coolidge. That summer the President moved his headquarters to the Black Hills of South Dakota, where he lived in a game lodge up in the hills. There was a young Secret Serviceman, James Haley, who served as a guide. Mrs. Coolidge liked long walks or hikes through the hills where she would stop to pick wild flowers. She frequently took these walks in the early morning hours with young Mr. Haley serving as a guide.

When one day in June, Mrs. Coolidge had not returned from her walk by 1:00 PM, the President became concerned. He became increasingly upset when she was still absent at 2:15 Pm. He was about to form a search party when an obviously fatigued Mrs. Coolidge appeared and cheerfully greeted her husband. The President did not return her happy chatter, however, and ushered her at once into the house where their conversation remains unknown.

Just as today, the newspapers had a field day with this incident. “WIFE’S LONG HIKE VEXES COOLIDGE: PRESIDENT PACES PORCH AS FIRST LADY HITS 15-MILE TRAIL” blazed across the Boston Herald. “FIRST LADY ALMOST LOST; PRESIDENT WORRIED, ON POINT OF FORMING SEARCH PARTY JUST AS MRS. COOLIDGE RETURNS” sang the Boston Post. “ WIFE’S DELAY TAXES COOLIDGE’S PATIENCE, SHE GOES OFF ON LONG HIKE AND LUNCHEON GETS COLD, PRESIDENT SITS ON PORCH AN HOUR WAITING FOR HER TO EXPLAIN” graced the front page of the Boston Globe.

Another headline ran in the Boston Globe a few days later. “HALEY OUT AS MRS. COOLIDGE’S ESCORT”*
***************************************************

*Boller, Paul F. Jr., Presidential Wives, an Anecdotal History, 1988, page 269

Saturday, June 27, 2009

The Woman Behind the Man

We have always heard that behind every successful man is a woman. This was never more true than in the case of our First Ladies. Women who were thrust into a role most of them never expected and in many cases, were unprepared to assume. Some were more successful than others. All have stories and lessons that we can learn from today. Join me here to laugh with them - cry with them – and to see that the struggles of wives and mothers today aren’t really so different from those of ten years or two hundred years ago. And then again, maybe they are. Let’s look into the hearts and the homes of these special women. Bring them to life once again to learn from, to enjoy and love.

George Washington, who was actually a few years younger than his wife, Martha, was chastised by David Burns, a blunt Scotsman, who refused to sell Washington some land he wanted. Burns prudently told him, “What would you have been, if you hadn’t married the Widow Custis?” Yeh, where George???

How deeply did Abigail Adams’ admonition to her husband that “How could America produce heroes, statesmen and philosophers if it didn’t also produce learned women” go to influence her husband? She never doubted that women were men’s intellectual equals and she fought the battle for women’s rights long before it became the fashion to do so.

Everyone of these ladies contributed to the success or failure of her President husband. Some of their advice was heeded, some not. We saw Edith Bolling Wilson’s fierce efforts to protect her husband when he was seriously ill and the impact she had on his presidency. Eleanor Roosevelt‘s active role countered the limitations her husband’s handicap forced upon him. Jackie Kennedy’s grace and poise enhanced her husband’s impact on the influential of the world. The stories are endless and entertaining. Like Abigail Adams waiting for John to leave home on one of his lengthy political trips - at which time she enlarged the house by adding a new living room and study. She spent a considerable sum at the time, but felt she was entitled since John had spent $16,000 (a tidy sum for those days) on a new barn, which Abigail felt was totally unreasonable and unnecessary. Join me here for more of these delightful tales.